Changes

"I see no changes. All I see is racist faces.Misplaced hate makes disgrace to races we under.I wonder what it takes to make this one better place...let's erase the wasted.Take the evil out the people, they'll be acting right.'Cause both black and white are smokin' crack tonight.And only time we chill is when we kill each other.It takes skill to be real, time to heal each other

         

Misplaced Hate

Why do we hate? What is the driving force that causes us to clench our fists in rage at another human being or worse, an entire group of human beings?

My earliest memory of experiencing hate was in elementary school when Jesse Wilson tripped me, pointed and laughed at me in front of my peers at recess. I was angry, I despised Jesse and wanted nothing more than to show him up and to make him feel the ridicule that he had made me feel. The next day after recess was over and we were walking back to class I kicked Jesse in the stomach at the top of the stairs for all the other kids to see so that they could be witnesses to Jesse's demise. I don't remember how this act made me feel. I don't remember feeling prideful or accomplished, I just remember hating Jesse because he had belittled me. Fast forward about a year later and I was leading a group of bullies, Jesse being one of them and we picked on two kids named Lee Jay and Preston because they were different from us. They were shy kids that we classified as nerds who didn't talk like us or act like us. Writing this right now makes me sick thinking about it.

Based on the lessons from my childhood and from what I have observed in my 30 years of life I believe that there are two main reasons why we Hate

1) We don't understand one another and we fear what is different from us

I didn't understand Lee Jay or Preston, I just thought that they were weird like the other kids did, so I picked on them. Had I bothered to step out of my comfort zone and had not worried about what the other kids thought, I could've learned Lee Jay and Preston's stories. I would have found out that they were human beings with hopes, dreams, and fears just like me. I would've learned that they weren't so DIFFERENT after all.

"Neither despise or oppose what thou dost not understand"- William Penn

2) We don't forgive

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. It is singlehandedly the hardest thing that anyone will ever have to do. We are so consumed by what is inside of us and caught up in who has hurt us in our lives that we often live the majority of our lives with a veil over our eyes. All of us at one point in our lives have been hurt by someone and we have allowed that hurt to linger for far too long. For some it was an ex girlfriend that did them wrong, others a spouse, for some a coworker, a lifelong friend, a parent, etc. We all carry with us a wound, or wounds that we allow to shape who we are. When you are able to identify those wounds and truly forgive those that inflicted them, then and only then are you able to move forward and love again with a fresh set of eyes to the world. A world that is devoid of love.

So what now? Where do we go from here? My suggestion is that today you identify the wounds that have been inflicted on you and CHOOSE TO FORGIVE. Forgiveness is a choice. It is a hard choice, but it is the first step to healing a broken man in a broken world. The next thing that you can do is learn to understand what is different from you. I am not at all saying that you have to conform to a set of beliefs or morals that you do not abide by, but you must have empathy for and understanding of your fellow man so that you can effectively share with and communicate with him. If you can't do this then your concern will come across as promoting your agenda and will be fairly or not judged as unacceptance or hate.

"It's time for us as a people to start makin' some changes.
Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live
and let's change the way we treat each other.
You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to dowhat we gotta do, to survive."

-Tupac Amaru Shakur

Integrity

Who are you when no one else is watching?

"We all have two battles or two enemies going on. One with the man across from you, and one with the man inside of you. I think once you control the one inside of you, the one across from you really doesn't matter."

I am a huuuuugggggeee fan of the Dallas Cowboys (I just lost 3/4 of my potential readership) and I am incredibly excited about the job that Dak Prescott has done in leading the team to an 11-1 start and to the longest winning streak in franchise history! That being said, I am even more impressed with the job that Tony Romo has done by accepting his new role as the Cowboys backup quarterback. Tony is teaching lessons in leadership to his teammates in what are trying times for him as an individual. Tony's character has been exposed in this process and he has proven to be a man of high integrity.

In the press conference above Tony is transparent and honest. He makes it clear that he is not happy with how circumstances unfolded and acknowledges that he had moments of self-pity and doubt. It would have been easy for him to become disengaged or disinterested once he rehabbed from injury and his position had been taken away by someone else. Tony however chose to be a part of something bigger than himself. He has embraced his new role on the team and is doing his part (what he can do) to help the team win. When you observe Tony on the sidelines he is always looking at the play sheets and mentoring Dak when appropriate. Instead of dwelling on what he couldn't do he instead figured out what he could do to add value to the team. Tony has embraced his role as a mentor to Dak Prescott and in the process has himself learned a valuable lesson: Our greatest adversary is ourself. Our own self-pity, self doubt, and self obsession is what holds us back from being the best version of ourselves that we can be. Once we master the person inside of us outside forces cease to have a hold on us and we are freed to live our lives joyfully.

Whether you are the janitor sweeping a bathroom or the backup quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys, what you do matters. So do it to the best of your ability.


Integrity as defined by Webster

1. firm adherence to a code of especially moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty
2. an unimpaired condition
3. the quality or state of being complete or undivided

In his book Becoming a Person of Influence, John Maxwell writes that Integrity should be viewed like the foundation of a house during a huge storm. "If the foundation is sound, then it will hold up against the raging waters. But when there are cracks in the foundation, the stress of the storm deepens the cracks until eventually the foundation-and then the whole house-crumbles under the pressure."

If you have read this far thank you and welcome to my blog!

I have decided to start a bi-weekly journal of leadership principles that have I have collected over the course of my life thus far. The reason for this is because I am passionate about developing leaders and my hope is that this blog will be used as a tool of reference for someone in their own personal development. The title of the blog Are You Adding to or are You Getting Through? stems from my personal mission "to add value to the lives of others by enjoying what it is that I do" I am a Grand Opening Supervisor for Chick-fil-A. I have the privilege of traveling the all over the United States and leading the openings of new restaurants. During this process days can get long and being on the road constantly (50 out of 52 weeks a year) away from friends and family takes its toll. My anchor that gets me through is my vision of owning a restaurant where I can develop young leaders by creating a culture of constant growth to make the world a better place. Every day we see on the news stories of corruption, hate, greed, etc. I want to use the platform of Chick-fil-A to grow and develop future leaders to be a light that shines in a dark world, and that can inspire a hope for change.

It is my desire to become a better leader and a better writer so please if you have any feedback for me on this article or any that I post in the future I would love to hear it. Post in the comments below or if you want you can send me an email or shoot me a text. Thank you for reading.